State Capitals

A blonde got tired of blonde jokes.

One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.”

One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?”

“N,” she answered.

Blonde Christmas

Two blondes go deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of sub-zero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said:

‘I’m chopping down the next tree I see. I don’t care whether it’s decorated or not !!!’

Which is Closer

Two blondes are walking and one asks, “ which is closer, the moon or Florida?”

And the other responds, “duh…… can you see Florida?”

Blonde Flight Attendant

An aircraft is flying when all over sudden a bird crashes through the cockpit and kills both the pilot and co pilot.

Having heard the crash a blonde flight attendant rushes in to find out what happened. Once inside the cockpit the plane jerks and the cabin door slams shut and can’t be opened.

So she pulls the captain out of his seat and sits down, taking the radio into her hands and says, “May Day! May Day! Help Me! Help Me! The pilots are dead and I don’t know how to fly. Help Me! Please Help Me!”

She hears a voice over the radio saying:
“This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I’ve had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath.
Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position!”

“I’m 5’4 and in the front seat of the plane.”

“O.K.” says the voice on the radio. “Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven…”