Sex with a difference

The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador.

For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.

On the final day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, “As your stay is coming to an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette.”

“One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded – you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger.”

This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.

Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.

The African ambassador was much impressed with the couragous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.

When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay.

Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, “Now it is time for you to sample our game, African roulette”.

So saying, he led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six beautiful, naked women.

The African ambassador said, “These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex – take your pick”.

The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn’t see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, “Well, ok, great, but where’s the roulette part? Where’s the danger?”

With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered,”One of them’s a cannibal.”

Why our Leaders are Assh***s

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge,he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: “Free to good home. You want it, you take it”. For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: “Fridge for sale $50”. The next day someone stole it.
Caution!

. . . . . . . . . . . These people Vote!

=======

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was North because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, “Does the sun rise in the North?” When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her head and said, “Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff”

. . . . . . . . . . She ALSO votes!

==========

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I  told him, “The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.” He responded, “Is that Eastern or Pacific time?” Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, “Uh, Pacific”
. . . . . . . . He ALSO votes!

==========
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but “didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving”

. . . . . . . . . . . She ALSO votes!

==========

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It’s designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk

. . My sister ALSO votes!

=== =======

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, “Wouldn’t the chain rip  out every time she turned her head?” I explained that a person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

. . . . . . . My friend ALSO votes!

=========

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. “Now,” she asked me, “has your plane arrived yet?”

. . . . . . . . SHE ALSO votes!

=========

While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cutinto 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. “Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 .

. . . . . . .Yep, he votes too.