Welder joke

A welder sees an ad for help and a metals shop. $18-$25 per hour. He goes in and asks about the job. They give him some metal to weld and tells him to bring it back when he’s done.

The welder brings back two welds. The first one is beautiful. Pristine beads, straight as an arrow. The shop owner complements him on such fine work. The second weld is sloppy and unappealing.

The shop owner asks “what’s up with the difference in welds?” The welder says, “the first one is $25 an hour and the second one is $18”.

greatest fear

I asked my dad why did he become a pilot. He said, “to conquer my greatest fear.”

“The fear of flying?”, I asked.

“No,” said dad. “The fear of dying alone.”

Don’t Freak Out

“Mom? Don’t freak out, but I’m in the hospital…”

“Jeremy, you’ve been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that.”