Not Missing it this time

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor..
The doctor says, “Okay, Mrs. Jones , what’s the problem?”
The mother says, “It’s my daughter, Debbie . She keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight, and is sick most mornings.”
The doctor gives Debbie a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, “Well, I don’t know how to tell you this, but your Debbie’s pregnant – about 4 months, would be my guess..”
The mother says, “Pregnant?! She can’t be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you Debbie ?”
Debbie says, “No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man, I’m still a virgin!”
The doctor walked over to the window and just stood there staring out into orbit. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, “Is there something wrong out there doctor?”
The doctor replies, “No, not really, it’s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. And there’s no way I’m going to miss it this time!!!

Lesbian at the Gynecologist

A young lesbian goes to her gynecologist for her yearly pelvic examination. She puts on the paper gown and awaits him to come into the exam room. He instructs her to get up onto the table and place her feet in the stirrups.

As he is examining her she hears him saying “mmmm… mmmhmmm”. He completes the examination, instructs her to dress and then meet him in his office when she is done.

In his office she asks him if there was anything unusual that he observed during the exam because she could not help but hear his non-verbal comments.

“Oh, that” he says.” I was just admiring you. You have the cleanest vaginal area that I have ever seen in all my years of practice.”

The young woman proudly smiled and replied, “Why thank you! I have a woman come clean it twice a week!”

Ed Zachary Disease

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite sometime. She was afraid that there might be something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well known Chinese sex therapist, so she did.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, “OK, take off all you crose.”

The woman did as she was told.

Now, get down and craw reery reery fass to odder side of room.”
Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, “OK, now craw reery reery fass back to me.”

So she did.

Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, “Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, dat why you not
haf sex or dates.” Confused, the woman asked, “Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what
is Ed Zachary disease?”

Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eyes and replied, “Ed Zachary disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass.”