The Hero Football Fan

Two kids are playing football in a park in Manchester, when one of the kids is suddenly attacked by a huge rottweiler, luckily the other kid finds a plank of wood and shoves it in the dogs collar and twists it and breaks the dogs neck!
A man also in the park witnesses this and says to the kid, “That was amazing! I’m a journalist for the Manchester Evening news, I would like to write an article about what just happened.”
He starts writing a headline, “United fan saves friend from dog”, the kid says, “I’m not a United fan.”
He starts again, “City fan saves friend from dog.” The Kid says, “I’m not a City fan.”
The journalist asks, “Who do you support then?” The kid answers, “Liverpool.”
Next day the headlines read “Scouse bastard murders family pet in cold blood!”

Before 10

As I was laying there I thought fuck it i’m not getting up before 10.

Because if i do, that bloke will hit me again.