Two kids are playing football in a park in Manchester, when one of the kids is suddenly attacked by a huge rottweiler, luckily the other kid finds a plank of wood and shoves it in the dogs collar and twists it and breaks the dogs neck!
A man also in the park witnesses this and says to the kid, “That was amazing! I’m a journalist for the Manchester Evening news, I would like to write an article about what just happened.”
He starts writing a headline, “United fan saves friend from dog”, the kid says, “I’m not a United fan.”
He starts again, “City fan saves friend from dog.” The Kid says, “I’m not a City fan.”
The journalist asks, “Who do you support then?” The kid answers, “Liverpool.”
Next day the headlines read “Scouse bastard murders family pet in cold blood!”
Sports Jokes
Ronald Koeman
What do Ronald Koeman and the Titanic have in common?
Neither should have left Southampton.
‘Let’s Make this Iinteresting
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’.
So we stopped playing chess
Before 10
As I was laying there I thought fuck it i’m not getting up before 10.
Because if i do, that bloke will hit me again.