The Night before X’mas

The night before Xmas
Throughout the house.
Everyone was fcuked
Even the mouse.

Dad at the brothel,
…Mum with frank,
I’d settled down
For a nice slow wank.

Outside the house
I heard a right clatter,
I let go of my cock
To see what was the matter.

Out on the lawn
I saw a big dick,
I knew right away
It was old St Nick.

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell.
The big fat fcuker, I think he fell.

He filled all our stockings with sweets & beer,
And a big rubber cock
For my brother, the queer.

He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart,
The big fat c*nt
Blew the house apart.

He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight,
Shouting: I’ll be back next year, Have a hell of a night.


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