Funny Sayings

  1. Women don’t say sorry, when a guy is right they say…. “Whatever!”
  2. At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.
  3. To all the girls that say Gentlemen don’t exist anymore: They do exist but Gentlemen are attracted to Ladies. Not s?uts.  Sorry.
  4. You can keep retaking all the photos you want but that’s just what your face really looks like
  5. Girls don’t dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the  time
  6. To me, drink responsibly means don’t f?cking spill it
  7. The worst thing about admitting you’re an alcoholic is that people will expect you to stop drinking.
  8. You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
  9. Scroll no further, as it only get worse from here…
  10. Keep scrolling… I got nothing!!
  11. Everyone has a special talent, I like to think mine is ruining people’s day.
  12. I finally found love!! It’s on page 364 in the dictionary.
  13. The 4 Stages of Going Out Drinking: 1. Why do I do this to myself 2. This isn’t so bad 3. WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN 4.  Why do I do this to myself
  14. The true test of any loving relationship is having two phones and only one functioning charger.
  15. It all makes sense now!! Gay marriage and Pot legalized on the same day… Leviticus 20:13 “If a man lays with another man  he should be stoned.” We’ve just been misinterpreting it all these years!!
  16. Girls who say, “a lot of guys are after me”, should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers
  17. Probably the worst thing about being a penguin is after you’re in an argument, you’ll try to waddle away angrily but still  look adorably cute.
  18. Just because I don’t post it everyday doesn’t mean I’m not thankful for the things I have.
  19. When someone says to me great minds think alike, I just look at them and think “you dirty bastard”.
  20. Baby your dirtier than my browsers history!