Funny Sayings

  1. Remember: Being awake during a Saturday Morning sunrise is a sign of a good Friday Night.
  2. Well, it’s easy to tell I’m married. It’s Friday night and I’m at home updating my Facebook status…
  3. The way I see it, EVERY FRIDAY is Good Friday.. 🙂
  4. If being drunk before 3pm on a Friday is wrong, I never want to be right.
  5. Paddy says to Mick, “Christmas is on a Friday this year”…. Mick says “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”
  7. Screw it, I’m starting Friday now.
  8. It’s Friday night… So many innocent beers have no idea what’s coming for ‘em.
  9. My doctor gave me six months to live. I told him I couldn’t pay my bill. He gave me another six months.
  10. Life is like a bed of roses. You just have to watch out for the pricks.
  11. This month has five Fridays, five Saturdays, and five Sundays but only FOUR Mondays. You’re welcome!
  12. Yo mama is so fat, when the judge said “order”, she order a milkshake, cheeseburger, and fries.
  13. I don’t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence…but hey, somebody has to do it!
  14. This guy came up to me and said he needed a glass of water but his pants were on fire so, he probably was lying about  needing it.
  15. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
  16. What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never  know what might happen.
  17. Guys are excellent cooks. With two eggs, a sausage and a little bit of milk; they can keep a girl’s stomach full for 9  months..
  18. I tried to say no to the vodka but it was 40% stronger than me
  19. I wish falling in love had traffic lights, so that I would know if I should: Go for it, slow down, or just stop.
  20. Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I’d take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.