Funny Whatsapp Status

1000 + Funny Whatsapp Status

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  1. Reasons I Can Relate To Raccoons: 1) Dark circles around eyes. 2) Eats junk. 3) Small and chubby. 4) Stays up all night. 5) Cute but will fight you.
  2. People setting up GoFundMe’s because they can’t afford a TV… Don’t you know that’s what lay-a-way is for?
  3. I found out that middle age is were you finally get your head together and then your body starts falling apart
  4. My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, “your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.
  5. I don’t always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment.
  6. Boss just announced he is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
  7. Wow 15 notifications.. oh wait 13 of them are for farmville, cityville, I dont give a shit-ville
  8. I pulled my wife’s panties to the side…….then put the rest of her socks in the drawer.
  9. it’s a status….not your diary…
  10. My wife said if this gets 100 likes, we’ll try butt stuff…….. * Please DON’T like,,, her strap-on is big and scary…..
  11. Mentos should print little messages on their mints like “you’re awesome” or “looking good” and call them Complimentos.
  12. I remember when a minimum wage job was a stepping stone, not a career.
  13. Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.
  14. Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.
  15. You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there’s no real difference between me and George Clooney.
  16. I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
  17. There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?
  18. Every time I fold laundry I contemplate becoming a nudist. Then I remember what I look like naked and keep folding….
  19. I received their wedding invitation on Facebook, so I sent them a gift from Farmville….figured it was appropriate.
  20. I hate how you’re just born out of nowhere, forced to go to school and get an education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck.