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1000 + Funny Whatsapp Status
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- Reasons I Can Relate To Raccoons: 1) Dark circles around eyes. 2) Eats junk. 3) Small and chubby. 4) Stays up all night. 5) Cute but will fight you.
- People setting up GoFundMe’s because they can’t afford a TV… Don’t you know that’s what lay-a-way is for?
- I found out that middle age is were you finally get your head together and then your body starts falling apart
- My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, “your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.
- I don’t always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment.
- Boss just announced he is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
- Wow 15 notifications.. oh wait 13 of them are for farmville, cityville, I dont give a shit-ville
- I pulled my wife’s panties to the side…….then put the rest of her socks in the drawer.
- it’s a status….not your diary…
- My wife said if this gets 100 likes, we’ll try butt stuff…….. * Please DON’T like,,, her strap-on is big and scary…..
- Mentos should print little messages on their mints like “you’re awesome” or “looking good” and call them Complimentos.
- I remember when a minimum wage job was a stepping stone, not a career.
- Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.
- Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.
- You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there’s no real difference between me and George Clooney.
- I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
- There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?
- Every time I fold laundry I contemplate becoming a nudist. Then I remember what I look like naked and keep folding….
- I received their wedding invitation on Facebook, so I sent them a gift from Farmville….figured it was appropriate.
- I hate how you’re just born out of nowhere, forced to go to school and get an education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck.