Friday Jokes, Quotes and Status

Below are the best Friday Jokes, Friday Quotes, Tweets, Friday Statuses and One liners.

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friday jokesFriday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from savagely beating one of my coworkers with a keyboard.

My boss yelled at me yesterday “It’s the fifth time you’ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday?”…

Well, it’s easy to tell I’m married. It’s Friday night and I’m at home updating my Facebook status…

Before I lose my phone, end up naked, high, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Friday.

Sometimes all I’m really doing with my life is just trying to make it from one weekend to the next.

Its Friday…I hope your weekend isn’t as lonely as Lance Armstrong’s testicle.

☆:*´¨`*twinkle twinkle little star…point me to the nearest bar *´¨`*:.☆ HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!

In addition to Casual Friday, I propose the following: Punch A Coworker Monday, No Pants Tuesday, Drunk At Work Wednesday, and Call In Sick Thursday.

Funny Monday Jokes, Quotes & Statuses

Now taking reservations for midnight kisses on Friday night. Sign up below.

I would like to thank you people for letting me know its Friday every week. Its thoughts like this that keep me on Facebook.

Instead of that daylight savings crap why don’t we just move the clock ahead an hour every Friday at noon so we get outta work early , then on Sunday move the clock back an hour at like 3AM so we can sleep that extra hour .

Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample over others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.

Black Friday has taken all of my money : Robinson Crusoe

Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman’s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.

Loves the smell of Friday in the morning, it smells like… WEEKEND.

3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday… 2. Tomorrow is not Friday… 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday…

On Friday nights I visit a club so exclusive nobody else knows it exists. It looks bizarrely like my living room & needs new cleaning staff.

Came home Friday with flowers for the missus. When I handed them to her she replied, “Great. Now I have to spend all weekend on my back with my legs in the air.” Obviously confused I asked, “Why? Don’t we have any vases?

I’ve never met a Friday I didn’t like!

Family…Friends….Fun…Fridays. All good things start with “F”.

Friday…Gods Gift to the working People

Coffee makes my mornings. But Friday makes my week

Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek. The welcome wagon to the weekend. The famous F word we thank God for every week.

Friday!!! I’m so glad you are back. I’m sorry you had to see me with Monday-Thursday, but I swear I was thinking of you the whole time.

Every day can be Friday if you’re really irresponsible.

My boss just informed me that “It’s FRIDAY” is not a legitimate excuse to start drinking at 8am.

Why are you all so excited it’s Friday? Monday will be here in 5 minutes.

Friday! There you are, you sexy son of a bitch! We’ve been lookin for you since Monday!

Friday. My second favorite F word.

Once again its Friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week….

Friday, is that you???????

If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn’t want me here either.

It’s Friday! I’m as happy as a newborn in a topless bar!

Thursday doesn’t even count as a day, it’s just the thing that’s blocking Friday…

TGIF – Tongue goes in First

Finally Friday! Felt like it took a week to get here!!

Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. On behalf of your captain, Samuel Adams and myself, welcome aboard. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.

Love the F word… Friday! What were you thinking?

Nothing fcuks up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday!

Remember: Being awake during a Saturday Morning sunrise is a sign of a good Friday Night.

Well, it’s easy to tell I’m married. It’s Friday night and I’m at home updating my Facebook status…

The way I see it, EVERY FRIDAY is Good Friday.. 🙂

If being drunk before 3pm on a Friday is wrong, I never want to be right.

Paddy says to Mick, “Christmas is on a Friday this year”…. Mick says “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”


Screw it, I’m starting Friday now.

It’s Friday night… So many innocent beers have no idea what’s coming for ‘em.

No that’s not it
well. yeah…but no….
yep that’s it 🙂


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