Man walks into library & asks if they have any books on bukkake.
The librarian replies, “A lot of people come for that.”
One evening a man drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although it was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous rather easily.
The next night, the man and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly, he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat.
Not wanting to get caught, he waited until his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car.
With a sign of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That’s when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat.
“Honey,” she asked, “have you seen my other shoe?”
A wife is visiting a psychic. The psychic proceeds to tell her, “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”
Visibly shaken, the wife stared at the
psychic’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked:
“Will I be acquitted?”