What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs?? Steven Hawkins in a house fire
Don’t you hate it when your girl calls you the wrong name during sex? My name isn’t someone help.
I was in a bookshop and really lit up when I saw a book called “Living on £4 a Day”. The fucker cost £12.95.
My door bell rang this morning. I didn’t even know it had a phone.
“Excuse me waiter. There’re two ears in my soup.” “Eh..Whats that you said?”