Menstrual Cycle

I met a girl in the club and we got on so well I asked if I could go back to her flat and have sex.

“I’m sorry” she said “but I’m on my menstrual cycle”

“That’s OK ” I said “you lead the way and I’ll follow on my Honda 250”

The Queen & The Archbishop

The Queen was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the royal stable, when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn’t be ignored. “Oh dear,” said the Queen, “How embarrassing. I’m frightfully sorry about that.” “It’s quite understandable,” said the Archbishop, and after a moment, added, “as a matter of fact I thought it was the horse.

Poop

When you say the word ‘poop’, your mouth does the same motion as your arse hole.