Short Jokes

  1. One day,the boy touched the girl’s hand.The next day, the girl touched the boy’s hand. What a touching story..
  2. Oh, so you wanna argue? BRING IT, I GOT MY CAPS LOCK ON !
  3. You know you’re ugly when you call yourself ugly and no one disagrees with you.
  4. Wouldn’t it be so cool if life had notifications like, *ONE NEW NOTIFICATION* Your boyfriend/girlfriend just cheated on you..
  5. Girl: “Hey, whats up?” Boy: “If I tell you, will you sit on it?” 😉
  6. Ive never seen a pregnant Chinese lady.
  7. I donated blood today. Now I can be secure in the knowledge that somewhere, some fortunate person will wake up from an operation with the sudden ability to dance badly, sing off key loudly, and giggle a lot as they walk into things. And a hangover.
  8. Most days I feel like three kids stacked up on each other’s shoulders, covered by a huge coat, trying to pass as one of all these grown-ups.
  9. I’d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.
  10. To all my Friends: I need to be more active & spend less time on the computer, so December 31st will be my last day on Facebook for the year . I will return at the start of the New Year on January 1st. Thank you for understanding, I’ll miss you all dearly.
  11. Happy New Year everyone….and may your worries this year last no longer than a Kardashian marriage .
  12. HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE: It takes 24,637 BOLTS to put a car together, but only one NUT to spread it all over the road. Don’t Drink & Drive!
  13. I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years eve party….. when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in.
  14. I have got the best business idea of 2013, I am going to start Facebook rehab centers throughout country.
  15. After 30 years of shopping, my wife still has nothing to wear today.
  16. Every year I make a resolution to change myself… this year I am making a resolution to be myself!…..Happy new year 2013
  17. A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.
  18. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!
  19. For each like, I’ll take a shot on New Years…
  20. I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have…….. Happy New Year!