Short Jokes

  1. Guys, for Valentine’s Day leave 3 notes scattered around your house for your girlfriend that say “Will”, “you”, and “me.” That’ll keep her busy while you watch sports.
  2. Got my right hand a Valentines Day card. Had to sign it with my left hand so it will be a surprise.
  3. What the difference between a calender and you…. a calendar has a date on Valentines day.
  4. I would even do the thing Meat Loaf wouldn’t do for love for you.
  5. Roses are red, your body is fine, I know we just met, but your place or mine?
  6. Good thing it’s Valentines day, cause I woke up with a massive heart on!
  7. Got my left hand an awesome Valentines card and vibrating glove.
  8. Remember ladies; When men give women roses they expect Tulips in return 😉
  9. Valentines Day is the day that the “V” and “D” come together ..
  10. So I’ve decided that my Wi-Fi will be my valentine. Idk, we just have this connection.
  11. If you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.
  12. Brace yourselves!! The flowers, candy and jewelry mobile uploads are upon us…..
  13. Dear Cupid, next time hit us both.
  14. Its Valentines Day…If u r married go & kiss your wife or husband , if u have a gfbf the same ..n if u r single, kiss the ground and thank GOD !! =)). HAPPY VALENTINES DAY
  15. My wife said to go out and buy something that makes her look hot & sexy for Valentine’s Day! So I got drunk…
  16. I think I owe my right hand a Valentines Day card!
  17. I think I owe my vibrator a Valentines Day card.
  18. I overheard my girlfriend on the phone to her bff saying she wants to get engaged on Valentine’s Day. I hope she finds someone nice.
  19. Any dude who waits for Valentines Day to treat his woman like a Queen is failing 364 days a year.
  20. Fellas: Make it a Valentine’s Day she’ll always remember by simply forgetting it.