Eating Disorder

Because I don’t eat a lot my wife says I might have an eating disorder and I should go and see someone about it.

If only she’d see someone about her cooking disorder then I may not have a problem.

Tasty Treat

I read that eating bananas makes your spunk taste nicer, so I’ve been eating about 20 every day.

There’s been a real improvement in the customer feedback reviews for the Burger King I work at.

Your Turn

A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish.

By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says, “Sir, I’m afraid there has been a mistake. You see, that police officer who is sitting at the next table is a regular customer of ours and he usually orders the same dish. The problem is, this is the last chicken in the house. I’m afraid I’ll have to take this dish to him and arrange for another dish for you!”

The guy gets really upset and refuses to give up his food.

The waiter walks over to the other table and explains the situation to the officer.

A few minutes later the officer walks over to the man’s table and says, “Listen and listen good. That is MY chicken you are about to eat and I’ll warn you, whatever you do to that chicken I’ll do the same to you. You pull out one of its legs; I’ll pull out one of yours. You break one of its wings; I’ll break one of your arms!”

The man calmly looks at the chicken, then sticks his middle finger in the bird’s rectum, pulls it out and licks it.

He then gets up, drops his pants, bends over and says, “Your turn!!”