I’m telling everybody!

A Jewish man went into a church and entered the confession booth. The priest welcomed him and asked him what he would like to talk about. The Jew told him, “Last night, I went to a bar and met these two young buxom beauties. I took them into a back alley and let them take turns sucking my shvantz over and over until I was satisfied, before taking them both home to make love all night.”
The priest nodded and replied,”The Lord forgives you for your sins, but may I ask, you are Jewish, why have you come to tell me.”
The Jewish man replied,”Tell you, are you kidding? I’m telling everybody!”

Am I more Jewish or more black?

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “why do you want to know son?” “Because a kid at school is selling his bike for £50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to £40 or just steal it….