Jews and Big Noses

My son came up to me today and asked “Dad, why do Jews have big noses?”

“I don’t know, son,” I replied.

“You’ve got quite a big nose,” he said.

“That doesn’t mean I’m a Jew though.”

“Oh good,” he said, “Can you lend me a tenner then?”

Convert to Christianity

Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says “Convert to Christianity, and we’ll give you $100.”

The one says to the other, “should we do it??” The other says “NO!! Are you crazy?”

The first guy replies “Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars… I’m gonna do it.”

So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out.

The friend says “well, did you get the money?”

He replies “Oh that’s all you people think about, isn’t it??”

12 Sided Coin

The new pound coin has twelve sides.

It’s designed like this so it can be extracted from a Jews hand with a spanner.

SuperGlue

My Jewish neighbour said, “Do you have any superglue?”

I said, “Why, what have you broke?”

He said, “Nothing, my sons tooth’s come out.”