Fridge for Sale

My Jewish neighbour was flogging a fridge, so I popped round to have a look at it.

“Why has it got a hole drilled through the door?” I asked.

He said, “I wanted to make sure the light was turning off.”

Saul and Moshe

Saul and his friend Moshe, (who’s looking a little depressed) are at a synagogue talking. …

“Moshe, I’ve seen you feeling a little down over the past few times. Is everything all right?” asks Saul. …

“My son is getting married next week” says Moshe. …

“But Moshe, many of our congregants’ sons are getting married. That’s not a cause for concern. Say, what’s the name of the lucky bride?” …

“It’s Tyrone” says Moshe.

“Well I totally understand why you’re feeling sad. Tyrone is definitely not a Jewish name.” says his friend Saul.

The 70’s called

I went to a party last night. I thought I looked pretty smart, but some Jewish cunt said, “The ’70s called… They want their shirt back!”

I said, “The ’40s called… Your shower’s ready.”

Reformed and Orthodox

Two rabbis – one Reformed and the other Orthodox – were discussing their respective congregations one day.

The Reformed rabbi asked the Orthodox leader?

“Why don’t you let the men and women of your congregation sit together, as they do in my temple?”

The Orthodox rabbi – known for his sense of humor – replied, “If you want to know the truth, I don’t really mind them sitting together at all.

But, you see, my sermons aren’t that interesting and I just can’t have them sleeping together”.