Breaking Bad

You know you masturbate too much when you drop your wank sock and your wife shouts from the other room, “I hope that wasn’t one of our good plates?”

About 100%

Maths Exam

Question 1: A car weighing 200kg, travelling at 10 miles an hour crashed into the back of a stationary van weighing 500kg.

What is the probability a woman was driving this car?

Copper Wire

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found Traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that Their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American Archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times:
“American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their Ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians”.

One week later, the British authorities reported the following:
“After digging as deep as 30 feet in North Yorkshire, Jack Arkwright, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely fuck all.
Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless!

Playing Stupid

“Don’t you play stupid with me!” shouted my blonde wife

“Why would I play something I have no chance of winning?” I replied