A chess joke: What’s the difference between a rook and a bishop? …. … … Rooks can only move in straight lines, whereas bishops can have sεx with kids.
I went on the new ‘Two Week Crash Diet,’ swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in 2 weeks, I lost 14 days.
A women walks up to me in a bar and says, “Do you mind me asking how tall you are?” “I’m 6 foot 1 inch,” I replied. “Wow.. That’s very tall. Now.. Tell me… Is everything in proportion?” she asks, with a wink. “Unfortunately not,” I said, shaking my head. “If everything was in proportion, … Read more
While watching TV last night I said to the missus “I’ve decided that when I die I’m leaving everything to you” She replied “You do that already, you idle twat”!
What do you call a girl with no tits? You don’t call her.