Bum Fun

A newly-married couple show up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite.”Do you have reservations?” inquires the receptionist.”Only one,” replies the groom. “She won”t take it up the arse.”

*FOR SALE*

*FOR SALE*

06′ Suzuki GSXR 1000

This bike is perfect! Only done 7000 miles and has had its 1500 mile service.

No falls/scratches. I use it as a cruiser/commuter. I’m selling it because it was purchased without proper consent of a loving wife.

Apparently “do whatever the fcuk you want” doesn’t mean what I thought.

The Wifes Advice

Mr. Smith asked his wife for advice about his upcoming court case in which he could possibly win $50,000 from the insurance company.

“Honey, if I lie, I’ll win the case. But then I would have broken an oath sworn on the Holy Bible.”

His wife says, “I don’t want to advise you to do the wrong thing”

“But, what?”

“Let me put it this way,” his wife explained. “Treat the prosecuting attorney like I treat you in bed.”

Puzzled, Mr. Smith asks, “How so?”

Mrs. Smith replies, “Just lie there ’til he goes away.”