Best WhatsApp Status

  1. When you realize you just clicked “Send” on a text to the wrong person, and you quickly hit every button on your phone to try and stop it.
  2. I don’t get these “my body is a temple” people. I prefer to think of mine as a “bar & grill.”
  3. Dealing with backstabbers, there was one thing I learned. They’re only powerful when you got your back turned.
  4. When push comes to shove, when the going gets tough, when all hell breaks loose and the sh*t hits the fan, and when all else has failed, it is I who will recite old movie quotes while waiting for somebody to do something useful.
  5. All these years, I just realize…….. Can someone please explain to me why the kids from Scooby-Doo were afraid of people in masks, but were totally cool with a talking dog?!
  6. People will always throw stones in your path ! It depends on You ! what do You make from it: A “Wall” of difficulties. OR, A “Bridge of success.
  7. “Once you go black, you never go back!” I shouted as I threw my 3 week old bananas in the trash…..
  8. You’re too cute to be single.” and you’re too ugly to be flirting with me.
  9. This just in…. apparently the reason why Bieber assaulted the cameraman is because he was taking pictures of his camel toe.
  10. I have a friend with only one eye. I like to show him weird sh*t and tell him “You won’t believe your eye!”
  11. Facebook going green? Because I’m seeing a lot of people reusing the quotes.
  12. The Scarecrow didn’t have the brains, Tin Man didn’t have the heart, and the Lion didn’t have the courage. So Dorothy remained a virgin.
  13. Does anyone else feel that the only reason to drink coffee is so you are awake enough to go shopping at the liquor store or is it just me?
  14. Women are like steaks. They should be a little thick, really juicy and eaten at least once a week
  15. I wonder if kids in China ever look at their happy meal toys and think, “Hey, I made this.”
  16. Facebook stock continues to lose value, in fact it’s so bad, hundreds of farmville farms are going into foreclosure.
  17. Ladies, Put your boobs back in your shirt, smile instead of doing that duck face and put your middle finger down. Have some self-respect.
  18. I don’t need to watch TNT for drama, I have Facebook.
  19. Wanna get stoned? Go to Saudi Arabia and scream “I’m not a Muslim!”
  20. The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you’re playing by somebody else’s rules, while quietly playing by your own.