Best WhatsApp Status

  1. My past is my past, it made me who I am, I have no regrets, wouldn’t change a thing. I just don’t live there anymore.
  2. Over time you start noticing that some people just aren’t worth it anymore.
  3. This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past.
  4. Just once I wanna see a pregnancy test commercial where the female is like, “Aww, f**k…”
  5. This Status maybe recorded for quality and training purposes
  6. If I look tired at the end of the day, it’s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
  7. How to kill a Spider: Get a piece of tissue paper, approach it slowly, and very carefully, burn the house down.
  8. Opposites attract, that’s the trouble with being awesome
  9. My therapist told me I should quit drinking alcohol and caffeine. I laughed and said “Maybe you’re the crazy one!!”
  10. I don’t usually talk to people who use the words “SWAG,” or “YOLO.” But when I do, I order a large fry.
  11. The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
  12. Truth is, it’s not a “long story”…  I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
  13. Every person has a story to tell, which is why I avoid talking to most people.
  14. I’m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as “amateur”.
  15. Babies need an “Airplane Mode”.
  16. Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you’re so damn funny.
  17. People change, and all too often they become the person they said they will never be.
  18. “Wow, you look good today!” is not a compliment if it comes with a genuinely surprised look.
  19. You can love your country without having to love your government.
  20. Whatever happened to that little girl from The Ring, did she grow up to be Kristen Stewart?