Best WhatsApp Status

  1. I can’t believe I work this hard to be this poor.
  2. “My Uncle Jennifer is going to be on Jerry Springer tomorrow!”
  3. My ex sent me a picture to remind of what I’m giving up. I sent her a picture of my new girl so she knows I don’t give a f*ck…
  4. I just tell ugly girls I have a paper bag fetish.
  5. Anyone who says you can’t judge a book by its cover hasn’t seen the cover of “The Big Book of Huge Breasts”.
  6. I give my dogs human names so when people ask who I drank with last night I don’t sound like so much of an alcoholic.
  7. If you don’t have enemies, you don’t have character.
  8. Mistakes are meant for learning, not repeating!
  9. All this restraining order means is that I love you too much.
  10. If I were a pirate I’d skip the skulls and crossbones, and bedazzle a Hello Kitty themed boat. I’d never get caught, cause nobody would admit I robbed them.
  11. I love when my boss catches me actually doing work.
  12. No, that dress doesn’t make you seem fat…but your dependence on others’ opinions definitely makes you seem shallow.”
  13. Who needs swag? When you have “GANGNAM STYLE”…. Op.. Op.. Op.. Gangnam Style!!
  14. Trust me, as you get to know me, I just get weirder.
  15. If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black were drowning and you could only save one, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
  16. After spending 90 bucks for a gas fill-up today, I’m starting to see the advantages of being Amish….
  17. Geez …… those movie critics in the Middle East are a tough crowd….
  18. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She choked.
  19. If you’re easy to get, then you’re easy to forget.
  20. We text 24/7, but when we meet, it’s so awkward.