Best WhatsApp Status

  1. I’m ugly” …You spelled “attention seeking whore” wrong.
  2. If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what’s the first thing you’d buy?
  3. Why the fuck are you driving under the speed limit when you were in such a hurry to pull out in front of me?
  4. It’s funny when girl’s think guys are hanging with them, just to be “friends” haha
  5. Ok, but like, on a scale of 1 to 10, how married are you?
  6. There comes a time when you gotta stand up and take responsibility for your actions. I like to call this, the nap time.
  7. I wish people would consult me before trying to insult me, because I could help them come up with a much better one.
  8. They will take you for granted as long as they know you will always take them back.
  9. I’d rather drown going against the current than glide along a journey I don’t believe in.
  10. Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.
  11. LIKE if you do this… Make faces to a stranger’s baby when their parents aren’t looking.
  12. Nothing is more beautiful than a smile that bursts through tears.
  13. I hate it when I walk through a metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off.
  14. Trust is like money; you spend it, you save it, you lend it, and sometimes you get robbed.
  15. Happy people don’t take long showers.
  16. Women are the kind of problem I don’t mind wrestling with.
  17. After I put on pajamas, nothing else is going to be accomplished.
  18. “Be strong.” I whispered to my wifi signal.
  19. So they pay $1 million for commercials of starving kids but they can’t feed them?
  20. We will probably never understand why girls fall madly in love with douche-bags.