Best WhatsApp Status

  1. Lucky for you there seems to be no shortage of people willing to settle for less than they deserve.
  2. Lady in front of us in 15 items or less lane with about 30 items, so I smiled and said “Math wasn’t your strongest subject was it?”
  3. Thursday doesn’t even count as a day, it’s just the thing that’s blocking Friday…
  4. When I was kid, werewolves and vampires were scary. Now everyone wants to damn date them.
  5. What I lack in confidence, I make up for in whisky.
  6. If I say something profoundly insulting and you think it’s about you, might be time to reevaluate who you really are.
  7. Every time a hunk walks by, my v@gina licks it’s lips.
  8. Was at the drug store and the kid in front of me was buying Magnum condoms. I gave him a thumbs up. He said “Impressed?” I said “I am impressed, that you bought those with a straight face”.
  9. Q: What is the difference between Obama and Jesus? A: Jesus can put a cabinet together.
  10. They say 1 in every 3 people cheat in a relationship. I’m not sure if it’s my wife or my girlfriend.
  11. That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”
  12. Unless life also hands you water and sugar, that lemonade is gonna damn suck.
  13. Seems like it’s going to be “die trying” rather than “get rich” kind of life.
  14. I wish I had the confidence in real life that ugly people have on Facebook.
  15. Big mouths overcompensate for small minds.
  16. As a woman, I always take good care of my eyes coz they are the only balls I have.
  17. Sri Lanka Vs West Indies’ cricket match tomorrow. Kindly adjust contrast and brightness on your Television sets before watching
  18. Parents stop excusing your children’s bad behavior! If you don’t hold them accountable for their words and actions you’re creating a$$holes of tomorrow.
  19. After all these years, my armpits have not moved, yet I still use a mirror to put on deodorant.
  20. If you don’t sway side to side when listening to Stevie Wonder then we can’t be friends.