Best WhatsApp Status

  1. Compromising with a woman doesn’t mean you are wrong and she is right.. . it only means that Sex is more important than your Ego
  2. Not sure if I’m actually learning in class. Or have I just learned how to pass classes over the years?
  3. Just remember that whatever you put up with, you end up with.
  4. All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
  5. Some people say, “Facebook me” while others say, “Follow me.” But, I miss the classic, “blow me.”
  6. I’m always very flattered and humbled when I get an invitation on Facebook from someone I don’t know, to attend something I never heard of, along with about 12,000 other people.
  7. It’s just a matter of time before they add the word “Syndrome” after my last name.
  8. If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
  9. Please stop telling me how poor you are via the Facebook App from your iPhone.
  10. Sometimes things just don’t work out. And for those times there’s always alcohol.
  11. My wife said I drink too much and don’t exercise enough. So I stole her pedometer. Half mile so far up & down between the living room & the fridge!
  12. Look..I’m not trying to be difficult…it actually comes easy to me.
  13. I asked a cow if it had a beef with me. We both laughed and laughed and then I ate it.
  14. Whoever coined the phrase “you don’t know what you got till its gone” was talking about toilet paper, probably
  15. When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
  16. If you love someone, set them free. If they come back knocking on your door with two police officers, you’ll know that setting them free was a bad idea.
  17. Asshole meets Good Girl → Fu*ks her over → She turns into a Bi*ch → Meets a Good Guy → Fu*ks him over → He turns into an asshole…. Sad Cycle
  18. Having a contest with my couch and my washing machine to see who has more money. So far I’m in 3rd.
  19. 16 and pregnant? Where were all these slutty girls when I was 18?
  20. If you’re going to take me on a date to a karaoke bar, we better have sex before we go because I’m going to leave you there.