Best WhatsApp Status

  1. Just checking in to make sure that there is ample drama in my timeline. Yup, looks good to me.
  2. I’m the kind of dirty you can’t wash off.
  3. If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn’t want me here either.
  4. Not sure if “swag/yolo” finally died off, or something worse is coming
  5. I don’t repeat gossip so listen closely the first time!
  6. There’s no business like minding your own business
  7. There needs to be an app that deletes my memberships right before my free trials run out.
  8. So.. your changing your iPhone 4 just for a half inch?? Hope your girlfriend doesn’t do the same…
  9. The new apple map is totally futuristic, its like what the world is gonna look like after 2012 apocalypse.
  10. Android > BlackBerry > Nokia > Fax > Land phone > 2 cans and a string > Message in a bottle > Pigeon with a note taped to it > iPhone with iOS 6
  11. Got a free iPad and iPhone today. It’s like this gun is magic.
  12. Just had a near-death experience; almost used the wrong toothbrush.
  13. Blood makes you related but loyalty makes you family
  14. If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
  15. If you can’t tell thousands of strangers, who can you tell? – Facebook
  16. I’m only guilty of flirtation. If that’s a crime frisk me.
  17. Whenever I see hitchhikers, I just pretend they’re telling me that I’m doing a great job driving.
  18. Knowledge is my weapon of choice in a battle of wits. I see you brought ignorance. This is gonna be a massacre!
  19. If you’re on the treadmill next to me, the answer is “Yes. We are racing.”