Women will not date a guy who lives with his mother but they will date a guy who lives with his wife.
A little boy came running up to me and said, “Please help, my dad is in a fight.”
I followed him and came across two men fighting.
I asked him, “Which one’s your dad?”
He replied, “I don’t know, that’s what they’re fighting about.”
I named my WiFi after my last girlfriend because it’s never fully connected with me.
And also because I caught my neighbor using it.
Jedi Mind Tricks……..
For when you’ve met that fit bird but have run out of Rohypnol
Introducing my girlfriend to my family .
ME : This is my girlfriend Diana
Diana : hi
Wife : what the fuck?