Paddy Frees a Genie

Paddy frees a genie

Happy to be released from his confinement, the genie grants Paddy three wishes.

The Irishman thinks about it, and says “I want me a pint of Guinness that is never empty.”

So POOF! a pint appears, filled to the rim with the rich brown drink. The man drinks it down, and when he places it back on the bar, it’s filled up again.

“So, what would you like for your other two wishes, sir?”

“I want two more of these, mon!”

Good Decision

I rode to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle…

I bought a bottle of Rum and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave I thought for a moment, if I fell off the bicycle the bottle would fall out of the basket and break.

To avoid that, I drank all of the rum before I left the store.

It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off the bike seven times on my way home

Society is full of Double Standards

Society is full of double standards

For example, when Ariel from The Little Mermaid swims around half naked, singing with her underwater friends, people say that she is “sweet” and “beautiful”

But when I do it, people say that I’m “drunk” and “no longer welcome at the aquarium”.

Investing For Retirement

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines 2 years ago, you would have £49.00 today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG insurance company 2 years ago, you would have £33.00 today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers 6 years ago, you would have nothing today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Northern Rock 5 years ago, you would have nothing today

But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago at Tesco’s, drunk all the beer, then taken the aluminum cans to the scrap metal dealer, you would have received £214.00.