I rode to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle… I bought a bottle of Rum and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave I thought for a moment, if I fell off the bicycle the bottle would fall out of the basket and break. To avoid that, I drank … Read more
Society is full of double standards For example, when Ariel from The Little Mermaid swims around half naked, singing with her underwater friends, people say that she is “sweet” and “beautiful” But when I do it, people say that I’m “drunk” and “no longer welcome at the aquarium”.
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines 2 years ago, you would have £49.00 today. If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG insurance company 2 years ago, you would have £33.00 today. If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers 6 years ago, you would have nothing today. … Read more
One drunk said, “These steps are nice and even.” “Yes,” replied the other, “but the handrails are too low.” Then the train hit them.
A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer. Officer: “Do you know why I pulled you over?” Driver: “I’m guessing you think I was drunk driving.” Officer: “Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I’ll let you go.” Driver: (very quickly) … Read more