One drunk said, “These steps are nice and even.” “Yes,” replied the other, “but the handrails are too low.” Then the train hit them.
A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer. Officer: “Do you know why I pulled you over?” Driver: “I’m guessing you think I was drunk driving.” Officer: “Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I’ll let you go.” Driver: (very quickly) … Read more
Beer is so smart that if you drink enough, right around your midsection, it builds a shelf for you to rest bottles on.
I’ve just opened a sports themed pub called ‘The Gym’ That way no guy will ever have to lie to his wife about where he was.