The Big Fish

“How did you lose your hands?”, asked a bloke in the pub. “I stole a fish in the Middle East”, I replied, “it was so big that I couldn’t run fast enough and they caught me.” “How big was it?” he said. I held my arms out wide and said, “A bit bigger than that.”

Buying A Rolex

I was standing in a queue when the Scouser next to me whispered, “Would you like to buy a Rolex?” “Let me see it first,” I replied. “Shh, not so loud,” he said, “the bloke in front of us is wearing it.”