Donating Blood

I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask waaaay too many personal questions

Like, “who’s blood is this”, and “where did you get it?”

Mafia Hitmen

Two Mafia hitman are walking through the forest at night when one of them says

“I have to admit, it’s pretty scary out here.” The other replies, “You think this is bad? I have to walk back alone.”

Can’t Stop Stealing

A man goes to the doctors…and says…
“Doctor I can’t stop stealing things”
Doctor says “Take these tablets for 2 weeks”
Man replies “What if they don’t work?”
Doctor says “Then get me a 70 inch HD TV!”