“You’re not going to be needing that, love,” I said to her as she reached into her bag for a condom. “Why’s that then, you’ve had the snip?” “Nope, I’ve just come in my pants.”
The first time I met my wife, my head was spinning and my knees were going weak. It was then I realized I put the Rohypnol in the wrong drink.
I once dated a girl who had a twin. … People always asked me how I could tell them apart. … It was pretty simple, Rachel always painted her nails purple and Dave had a cock.
I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in. She said – Cheque books.