My girlfriend has just found out that I’m married. “I can’t believe this!” she screamed, “We’ve been together for five years and you didn’t think to tell me?” “I knew it would upset you,” I replied, “So I just didn’t say anything.” “How long have you been married for then?” she asked. I said, “Just … Read more
My girlfriend and I almost didn’t have a second date because on the first date I didn’t open the car door for her… I just swam to the surface.
I took a girl on a date to a restaurant. “Babe, I need to tell you something,” I said. “What?” she asked. I said, “I’ve already got a girlfriend.” “Oh, you scared the hell out of me,” she replied, “I thought you didn’t have any money.”
She: “Your dick is probably the size of a Tic-Tac.” Me: “Well, that would explain why your sister’s breath is so fresh.”
Damn girl, are you a newspaper? Cuz there’s a new issue with you every fucking day!