Oh Poop

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants.

But he is not buying it, in fact he is still making fun of me.

Grounded

As a child:
‘You are grounded. ‘

As an adult:
‘Your package will be delivered between 8 am and 6 pm. ‘

I Went to Paris

My grandpa told me “All you kids do these days is play video games”…

“When I was your age”, he continued, “my buddies and I went to Paris, We went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, pissed on the bartender and didn’t pay for my drinks all night!”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the Moulin Rouge with his friends. He comes back only three days later covered in bruises, and with a broken arm.

The grandfather asks, “What the hell happened to you?”
The grandson says, “I did just like you did. I went to the Moulin Rouge; I tried to fuck a dancer on stage and piss on the bartender — but they beat the shit out of me and stole all the cash in my wallet!”

The grandfather says, “Well who the hell did you go with boy?”

The grandson says through tears, “My friends from school, who did you go with?”

The grandfather says, “Well… the Nazis”