I just got home from a friends funeral, he drowned last week… I was surprised that all the relatives were furious about my floral arrangement that was in the shape of a life jacket. But as I told everyone, “It’s what he would have wanted”.
I went to my girlfriend’s funeral today. It was the first time I’d met her parents. What a pair of miserable bastards.
I hope Death is a woman…. That way it will never come for me.
When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle..
There is an advert in my local paper selling burial plots. I thought that will be the last thing I need.