Well Organised

People think my room is a mess, but it’s actually very organized.

Everything is sorted by date of last use. If I used it recently, it’s on top of something.

My Sexy Neigbour

I’ve always felt an irresistible attraction for the neighbour next door.
One day, when speaking to her husband, he said: “I need to have my apartment painted, but I work all day and I get tired. I tried to hire a professional painter but the guy asked me for the an arm and a leg …”
At that moment, I just had a brilliant idea.
“Don’t sweat it, neighbor! I’m on vacation and painting walls is my favorite hobby! It would be a pleasure to do this task.”
The guy accepted the offer and was really happy.
I don’t want to brag about my conversation skills, but I barely started to paint the apartment and I already had that woman in bed with me.
But, bad luck… We were just starting and I did not expect the husband to forget his documents and that, for that reason, he had to return home at that specific moment.
The woman, listening to her husband opening the door, runs to the bathroom, and the guy enters the room and finds me, naked, at the top of the ladder, giving a few strokes on the wall.
Screaming, he asked,
-“What the fuck is this? … You started painting in my bedroom, and naked?”
-“Fuck you, I’m working for free, so I start wherever I want!”
-“But naked? …”
-“You really wanted me to stain my new clothes with paint?”
-“And with a boner, you son of a bitch?”
-“And where am I going to hang the fucking bucket ?! …”

Suck and Screw

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing.

“Damn, that was stupid,” she thought as she fell. “What a way to die.”

As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, “Do you suck?” “No!” she shrieked, aghast. So, he dropped her.

As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. “Do you screw?” he asked. “Of course not!” she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too.

The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance.

As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. “I suck! I screw!” she screamed in panic.

“Slut!” he said, and dropped her