A teacher asks the class to name things that end with ‘tor’ that eat things.

The first little boy says, “Alligator.”

“Very good, that’s a big word.”

The second boy says, “Predator.”

“Yes, that’s another big word. Well done.”

Little Johnny says, “Vibrator, Miss.”

After nearly falling off her chair, she says, “That is a big word, but it doesn’t eat anything.”

“Well my sister has one and she says it eats fucking batteries like there’s no tomorrow!”


Little Johnny, a 5th grader needed to take a piss… …

Johnny says to his teacher, “Ms. Hill can I go take a p!ss?” …

Ms. Hill says, “Johnny, that’s not appropriate language for a 5th grader. The proper word to use is ‘urinate.’ Now, before you go to the bathroom… use it in a sentence.” …

Little Johnny replied, “Urinate, but you’d be a 10 if you had bigger tits.”


Little Johnny went to his first rodeo with his mom and dad…

Dad went off to buy a beer, and little Johnny happened to spy the bull’s cock flopping around beneath his belly.

“Mommy, mommy! What’s that long thing beneath the bull’s belly!?” Johnny asks, pointing.

Embarrassed, his mom looks away and mutters, “Oh, don’t worry about that, Johnny. That’s nothing.”

Dad comes back and mom goes off to use the washroom.

Once mommy is gone, Little Johnny asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing beneath the bull’s belly?”

“That’s the bull’s cock, son,” his dad answers. “He uses it to mount and fuck a cow.”
“But mommy said it was nothing!” Johnny replied.

Dad leans back with his hand behind his head and takes a sip of his beer. “Son… I’ve spoiled that woman…”

The Duck

Little Johnny’s teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail.

Little Johnny says, “De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail.”