Mother was a cartoon character

Teacher asks her class.

“If your Mother was a cartoon character who would she be?”
Little Mary says, “My Mummy would be Cinderella because she looks like a princess”.

Little Tommy says “My Mummy would be Penolope Pitstop because she’s a brilliant driver.”

Relunctly she gets to Little Johnny, and Little Johnny Says.

My Mum would be Kungfu Panda miss, you should see the fucking size of her black eyes my Dad gave her when he came home early from work and caught her sucking off the window cleaner”.

TOR

A teacher asks the class to name things that end with ‘tor’ that eat things.

The first little boy says, “Alligator.”

“Very good, that’s a big word.”

The second boy says, “Predator.”

“Yes, that’s another big word. Well done.”

Little Johnny says, “Vibrator, Miss.”

After nearly falling off her chair, she says, “That is a big word, but it doesn’t eat anything.”

“Well my sister has one and she says it eats fucking batteries like there’s no tomorrow!”

Urinate

Little Johnny, a 5th grader needed to take a piss… …

Johnny says to his teacher, “Ms. Hill can I go take a p!ss?” …

Ms. Hill says, “Johnny, that’s not appropriate language for a 5th grader. The proper word to use is ‘urinate.’ Now, before you go to the bathroom… use it in a sentence.” …

Little Johnny replied, “Urinate, but you’d be a 10 if you had bigger tits.”