My wife says she’s fed up and is planning on leaving me this weekend. Despite begging and pleading with her, she’s adamant she won’t move out before then.
My wife asked me to give her some peace and quiet earlier whilst she made dinner. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
75% of men kiss their wives goodbye when they leave the house. 90% kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wives.
My missus argued the other day that all I want her for is sex. She seemed to forget all about the washing,cooking,cleaning and shopping.
My wife and I always do Doctor and Patient role play when we have sex. I play the Doctor and she plays dead.