HOUSEWIVES: Save money on expensive gadgets by changing your name to Alexa and obeying random instructions from everyone in your household.
I was looking at my wife: no teeth in, tits on her belly, hair a mess and smoking a roll up. Then she cocked her leg and let out a massive fart.
“You are a mess and I’m disgusted with you,” I said. “I’m still the woman you love and married,” she said. “Sometimes we all let ourselves go a bit.”
“We’re on our fucking honeymoon,” I replied!
You never really know a woman, until she takes you to court.
I thought about having sex today and then I remembered that I’m married.