The phone rang. I picked it up to hear a voice on the other end.
“Hey fucker! Is that Cunty McCunty of Cuntyshire?”
I said calmly, “It is. How may I help you?”
There was a silence. Then the phone was put down.
Two minutes later it rang again.
“Oi wanker! Is Mister Wanky-Bollocks Fucktard there please?”
“Speaking.” I said. Followed by a slam of the receiver at the other end.
The wife came downstairs and said, “Who was that on the phone?”
Wearily I said, “Your mother….
…. She’s still not come to terms with me marrying you.”