A pretty girl asked me in a restaurant,”Are you Single?” Happily I replied, ” Yes….” She took away the extra chair in front of me.
I limped in to the pub last night and my mate asked me what I’d done. “I’ve just fucked my knees in the back of my van” I said “Fucking hell” he said, “I didn’t even know you had a niece”
I phoned my boss. I said, “I’m not coming in today. I’ve got chickenpox.” He said, “Don’t give me that!” I said, “I won’t. I’m not coming in.”
Two girls were discussing their heavy smoking habits. “I get such a yen for a cigarette,” said one. “That the only effective countermeasure is to pop a Life Saver into my mouth and suck hard.” “That’s fine for you,” huffed her friend, “but I don’t happen to live in a house that’s right on the … Read more