Ordering A Cake

On wife’s birthday, I ordered a cake on phone. Salesman: What message to put on the cake? Me: Write “Getting older but you’re getting better.” Salesman: How do you want me to put it? Me: Well.. put “You’re getting older” at the top and “but you’re getting better” at the bottom. When the cake was … Read more

Air of Confidence

I was standing by a public urinal when a guy came and stood next to me. He looked down at my penis and said, “I wish I had one that size.” “Oh yeah?” I said, with an air of confidence. He said, “Yeah, then my wife might leave me.”