Can you please have my children?

I knocked on my neighbours door this morning and asked,

“Can you please have my children? I’ll be no longer than a couple of minutes, I promise.”

“Of course, John.” She replied.

“Great!” I said. “Quick then, get your knickers off.”

Love And Sex

There was a nerd who understood every joke.

No matter how cryptic or vague the joke was, he always figured out the punchline. Soon, people started to make bets with him, trying him out. However, every time was the same, he would win the bet. His popularity rose up and soon people would crowd around him as he took more and more bets, cheering for him.

The word of his popularity reached his dad too. Afraid that his son is becoming too proud, he decided to end it for once and for all. He also made a bet and told a joke, “Love and Sex”.

The nerd was completely stumped. For the first time, he couldn’t figure out a joke. After thinking for minutes, he gave up and said, “I don’t get it”.

“Exactly”, his father said as the crowd around him burst into laughter.

Order Please

An attractive waitress approaches a table of two men and asks them what they would like to order.

“How about a quickie?” asks the one man. She immediately throws his water in his face and storms off to call the manager.

His friend leans across the table and says, “Dude, it’s pronounced “quiche””.