Plumber And the Doctor

A plumber fixes a damaged pipe in a doctor’s house and asks for 200 dollars. Doctor says to him: “Even i, don’t make so much money in such a short period and i’m a doctor”.

And the plumber goes: “I know sir. I used to be a doctor myself”

“That’s not it.”

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, “That’s not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested.

The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, “That’s it.”

Please Help Me

Was walking down the street earlier and saw my doctor get knocked down by a bus.
”Help me, please, help me’ he pleaded.

So I walked over and said ‘Sorry, I’m busy right now, but take two aspirin and if it’s not better by the morning phone for an appointment’.

First Day

A young lady becomes a hooker, and after her first night on the streets, the other hookers are asking her how it went…

“Well, the first guy I met was really hot! A marine with all kinds of muscles!”

“Ooh! Nice!” another girl says. “How’d it go?”

“Well I told him it was $50 for a fuck. He said he didn’t have that much. So I told him it’s $25 for a blowjob. He didn’t have that much either. So I said it’s $10 for a handjob. He agreed.

So I unzipped him and pulled his dick out. Oh my God it was huge! I wrapped one hand around the base, and a second hand above that, and then I put my first hand above the second hand and there was still more dick!”

“Oh my God! What happened next?” the other girl says.

“I loaned him $40.”