Wouldn’t it be nice if you could adjust the brightness level of people like you can on your TV?
My ex works in a pharmacy, so whenever I have time, I go there to buy condoms.
My opinions are like my bed sheets.
I only change them if it helps me get laid.
Honestly, it’s not the way I look that reveals my age.
It’s my use of complete sentences, proper grammar and spelling when I text.
I bumped into my ex at the pub last night.
“When I’m with my new girlfriend, I often think about you,” I said.
“Really,” she smiled.
“Yes,” I replied, “it stops me from coming too quickly.”