Will the gold dissolve

Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?

Student: No

Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?

Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn’t put it in.

26 Pets

When I said to my teacher,I had 26 pets, didn’t believe me. So I showed her a picture of my fish tank.

Teacher freaked out when she saw how many dogs I could fit in there.

Parental Visit

Don’t ever pay a surprise visit to your child in college. You might be the one getting the surprise. I learned this the hard way when I swung by my son’s campus during a business trip. …

Locating what I thought was his fraternity house, I rang the doorbell. “Yeah?” a voice called from inside. …

“Does Dylan Houseman live here?”

“Yup,” the voice answered. “Leave him on the front porch. We’ll bring him in later.”