“Son, I found a condom in your room.” “Gee thanks, Grandpa!” “Why are you calling me Grandpa?” “Because I couldn’t find it yesterday.”
I have OCD which severely affects my sex life. Every time a girl gets turned on, I turn them off again.
I accidentally dropped a load of Viagra on the floor shortly after taking one. I was crawling around on all fives for about half an hour looking for them.
I’ve been training for months to achieve the world record title of ‘Furthest Ejaculation’. I can’t believe how far I’ve come.
I went to a sex shop and was advised to buy a sex doll that would make me hot, sweaty and breathless. Too right. 30 minutes pushing hard on the foot pump before I realised it had a leak.