My mate asked me why I have sex noises saved on my phone. I said, “It’s for sound effects during sex.” He asked, “Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?” I replied, “No, I work in a morgue.”
Just finished work and am going home to the wife to put my feet up… I remember when we first met and i struggled to get 2 fingers up
Why are lepers so popular at the whorehouse? Once in a while they leave a juicy tip.
Get the dog walking area to yourself by eating sausages out of a dog pooh bag.
There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight. … The parents aren’t home.