Unusual

A man walks down the street and sees a sign outside of a restaurant advertising that the chef will prepare anything no matter how unusual it might be.
The man walks inside and tells the waiter, “I want a big steaming plate of shit.”
The waiter replies, “I”m sorry sir, we can”t do that, that”s impossible.”
The man reminds him about what the sign out front said.
The waiter sighs and says says he will go and talk to the chef.
The waiter goes back to the kitchen and explains the man”s odd request.
The chef agrees and he and the waiter drop their trousers and shit on a plate.
The waiter takes the plate out to the man.
Five minutes later, the waiter returns to the kitchen covered from head to toe in shit.
The chef asks, “What the hell just happened?”
The waiter replies, “He said there was a hair in it!”

Sad life

A dick has a sad life. His hair’s a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor’s an asshole, his bestfriend’s a pussy, and his owner beats him.

BOO

I walked in the bedroom to find my wife dead in the bed the other day.

Looking at her lifeless there, I decided to have one last go. Right in the middle she opened her eyes and shouted BOO! Honestly, some people are fucking sick in the head.