Turtle Fishing

A man is sitting on the bank of a river with a turtle. And an officer from the fisheries board approached him. The officer says to the man “do you know it’s illegal to poach turtles out of this river – they’re an endangered species”? The man says to the officer, “no this is my … Read more

1 Big Mac

I walked into McDonald’s today. I said to the cashier, “I’ve got no money on me, but I would like to buy a big mac meal please.” She looked me in the eyes and said, “With what?” I said, “A coke.”

Best Deals

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a store opened next door with a huge sign that said, BEST DEALS!” To make things worse, another store opened on the other side with a huge sign reading “LOWEST PRICES!” He nearly panicked until he had the idea to put up his own sign, bigger that the other two, … Read more

Which Hole

Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. “Gentlemen,” the Devil started, “Due to the fact that … Read more