As I was laying there I thought fuck it i’m not getting up before 10. Because if i do, that bloke will hit me again.
Some of those blokes at the Tour De France are cheating, they’re on motorbikes!
When a goal is scored in football, commentators say, “The ball’s hit the back of the net.” Technically, the ball’s hit the front of the net.
I bought Alex Ferguson’s autobiography. I thought I’d got to the end but six more pages appeared.
So after winning the game, I decided to throw the ball into the crowd, like they do on the T.V…apparently…. it’s unacceptable in bowling.