Why don’t aliens visit our solar system? Terrible ratings. One star.
Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
I tried a bit of finger painting today. I wish I hadn’t bothered now. It’s taken me 12 hours to do one fucking door frame.
“Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?” “No son, have you seen my dad glasses?”
I went to the pharmacy this morning and asked for 50 condoms. The girl winked at me and said, “Oh, someone has a busy weekend ahead of them!” “I know,” I said. “I’m making a raincoat for my pet snake.”