We were on a plane and the chap sat next to me started to be violently sick so I reached for a bag. “Thank you so much, ” he said as I put it over my wife’s head.
You know that you’re really ugly when you put your new iPhoneX in your back pocket and the facial recognition unlocks your phone.
Daughter: “Mom, am I ugly?” Mother: ” I told you not to call me “Mom” in front of people.”
Yo mama so ugly… Her blowjob counts as anal.
I thought I saw my father-in-law in drag yesterday. But it was just my wife without makeup