Stock Take

For last year’s birthday treat I took my wife to London for the weekend and we visited Madame Tussaud’s.

While walking through the chamber of horrors, the curator came over to me and said, ‘Excuse me Sir, would you mind asking your wife to keep moving, as we’re doing a stock take’.

Photos Turned Around

I took a bird back to my house the other night. “Why are all of these photos turned the other way?” she asked, confused.

“They’re pictures of my wife,” I replied. “They’re just too painful to look at.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she stammered, “I didn’t know. How did it happen, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Both of her parents were ugly,” I replied.