Dirty Pick Up Lines (18+)

  1. I would call Heaven and tell them an angel was missing, but I’m kinda hoping you’re a slut!
  2. I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
  3. Wanna Job? It Blows!
  4. My dick just died, can I bury it in your vagina?
  5. Hi, i’m a burgular… and I’m gonna smash your back door in!
  6. You can call me “The Fireman”….mainly because I turn the hoes on!
  7. I’m a zombie, can I eat you out?
  8. I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.
  9. I’m a businessman. I work in orifices, got any openings?
  10. I’m going to have sex with you later, so you might as well be there!
  11. Some men go around telling women they have an eight inch penis; I’d never shortchange myself like that!
  12. The last woman I was with said, “Kiss me where it stinks.” So, I drove her to New Jersey.
  13. Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.
  14. I have a tongue like an anteater; want to go to the zoo?
  15. I’m not a dick in real life, but I’ll play one in your vagina tonight!
  16. Your ass is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up?
  17. Looks don’t matter, I’ll just wrap you in a flag and fcuk you for glory.
  18. Hey, is that a keg in your pants? Cause I’d sure love to tap THAT ass!
  19. I would tell you a joke about my penis….buts its too long 😉
  20. My magical watch says you’re not wearing any panties…oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast…
  21. “I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?
  22. ” I’m a Gemini. What’s your sign – Fire Down Below?
  23. We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I’ll poke you.
  24. I’ve got a big one, you wanna see how hard it works?
  25. Hey baby, what’s your sign? Caution, Slippery When Wet, Dangerous Curves ahead, Yield?
  26. Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re having sex, cause I’m stronger than you
  27. My cat’s dead, can I play with your pussy instead?
  28. Hey baby, I’m kind of cold, Can I use your thighs as earmuffs?
  29. If I was a robot and you were one too, If I lost a bolt would you give me a screw?
  30. The names Dick, can I put it in you?
  31. Yeah. I’m an asshole, but will that stop me from getting in yours?
  32. I think my allergies are acting up. Cuz every time your around my dick swells up.
  33. Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to face and say “Are you gonna eat that?”
  34. Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sun glasses, one leg over each ear.
  35. Hey! tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.
  36. Those boobs look very heavy… can I hold them for you?
  37. Lets play circus, first sit on my face i’ll guess ur weight and i’ll eat the difference
  38. How about you get on your knees and smile like a donut!
  39. That dress would look great on my bedroom floor!
  40. You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
  41. I’ve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
  42. Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!
  43. What’s the biggest moving muscle in a womens body. My cock!
  44. I’m bigger and better than the Titanic … only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
  45. Lets play house…you can be the door so I can slam you all I want!
  46. The word for tonight is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word?
  47. Do you handle chickens because you look like you’d be good with cocks
  48. Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?
  49. I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!
  50. First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button.
  51. Baby!! My love for you is like Diarrhea. It just keeps coming out
  52. Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.
  53. Having sex is a lot like golf. I’m always happy when I get a hole in one.
  54. Your pants remind me of Vegas…. The kinda place I go to blow my Wad.
  55. How much does your clothes cost? (Woman says “Why do you want to know?”) Cause I`ll need to know how much to pay you back after I rip them off.!
  56. Wanna make like scarface and say hello to my little friend
  57. Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore….my face should be among them.
  58. Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I’ll throw you my meat.
  59. As long as you need a place to sit, you’ll always have my face.
  60. Beauty is only skin deep; a huge cock goes much deeper.
  61. Do you cum here, often?
  62. Wanna do something that rhymes with truck?
  63. Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let’s go on a picnic and find out!
  64. My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
  65. Guess what?! I’ve got an 8″ tongue and I can breath out of my ears!
  66. Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?
  67. Have you ever bought a vibrator? (No.) Do you want to rent one?
  68. “Are you cold? Would you like a jacket? Because you can jack it when we get back to my place”
  69. You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I’m 5.
  70. Since we shouldn’t waste things in this bad economy, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
  71. “Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?” (pull your pockets inside out) “Would you like to?”

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