Funny Posts

  1. I call my bedroom ‘the place where the magic happens’ because it’s where I make my self-respect disappear.
  2. Be that Shopping Cart with the bad wheel. Go in your own direction no matter how hard someone try’s to push you in theirs.
  3. If you’re having second thoughts, you’re two ahead of most people.
  4. People with a sense of humour are so much easier to talk to and get along with.
  5. If intelligent people don’t start procreating faster than the trash in “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” we’re all heading towards a very  dismal future. Am I the only one seeing this?
  6. Sure fire way to really annoy a woman – tell her she is being too dramatic and overreacting.
  7. The week has seven days: Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Friday, Saturday and preMonday.
  8. Skinny = anorexic , thick = obese , virgin = too good , non-virgin = slut , friendly = fake , quiet = rude. You can never please  society
  9. Forget about sexy, I am bringing good manners back!
  10. There is this new awesome technology to do group chats… It’s called “put your damn phone away and join the conversation!”
  11. Girl Logic: I’d like him a lot more if he ignored and liked me a little less.
  12. If you are an option, you are also an idiot
  13. Chicks can only stay at their boyfriend’s place for about 3 days, then they finally need to go home and use the toilet.
  14. Girls, If your boyfriend has to ask you for a blowjob… You’ve failed.
  15. Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger… at least one of them anyway.
  16. People who text back instantly. Keep it up, I like that sh1t.
  17. Hey guys, just to let you all know I’ll be closing my Facebook account in three days… But in four days I’ll be explaining why I  didn’t leave.
  18. You haven’t experienced awkwardness and felt like a complete idiot until you try to tickle someone who isn’t ticklish.
  19. I mistook the Facebook status box for Google search, and now I don’t have to go to family functions any more.
  20. I just dropped my phone, is everyone okay?!