Funny Posts

  1. When Eminem, wrote Recovery, obviously he wanted to Recover. Akon wrote Freedom, because he wanted freedom. And Justin Bieber wrote  boyfriend, hhmmmm……
  2. I remember one time when I was high… I asked a cat if it could talk. It replied Me? How?
  3. I try to avoid nice people so they can stay that way.
  4. Men resolve a fight with a fist fight. Women resolve a fight with years of backstabbing, name calling, rumor spreading & social  exclusion.
  5. Your words of wisdom make me want to seek the tranquility and comfort of a mental institution.
  6. “According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus  split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”
  7. I’m Homy… I bet 99% of you pervs misread that.
  8. I am never more aware that I don’t have boobs than when I’m paying for my own drink.
  9. There are hundreds of ways to make a woman happy and only one to make a man happy: LEAVE HIM ALONE.
  10. Excuse me, here’s your nose. I found it in my business.
  11. Tonight I’m going to have my favorite drink. It’s called “a lot.”
  12. There’s no such thing as premature ejaculation, the truth is that women arrive late everywhere!
  13. Why are they called One Direction? Looks to me like they go both ways.
  14. So if I get the job at Walmart,,, do I pull my own teeth out,, or does it happen during orientation ?
  15. Everyone’s like “I love Obama” or “I love Romney” and I’m just over here like “I love whiskey and beer”
  16. I think some of you freaks have been spanked more as adults than you were as children.
  17. Hey guys who write updates about how all girls are beautiful and should be respected, did you figure it out on your own or did your  boyfriend tell you??
  18. Nice try, fat girls ordering a salad on the first date. Nice try.
  19. If I rule the world first thing I’ll do is add a extra day into the weekend right after Saturday.. It will be called Matterday… It  won’t matter what you do that day
  20. Don’t study me,,,,you wont graduate!!